God Will not Put More on You than You Can Bear

This is not my normal grief stuff, but it still applies. Yes, I'm going "there." We often hear, from well-meaning christian brothers and sisters, the following phrase...hang in there, God won't put more on you than you can bear. Number one, that's a LIE. Number two it's not scriptural. We're going to take a look at that MISQUOTED scripture. Below is the scripture in context - in other words the verse before, the verse after, and that entire verse, not just what people want to pull out.

I Corinthians 10:12-14
12 So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! 

13No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

14 Therefore, my dear friends, flee from idolatry.

The middle of verse 13 is your misquote. "He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." Temptation is NOT pain. Temptation is NOT trouble. Temptation is NOT loss. Temptation is NOT trials. Temptation is NOT testing. What is temptation then? I'm glad you asked.

Webster defines temptation as the following... : a strong urge or desire to have or do something

: something that causes a strong urge or desire to have or do something and especially something that is bad, wrong, or unwise

Stay with me here. God wants us to rely fully on Him. Trust fully in Him. He wants us to seek Him, lean on Him, love Him. So, if that's what He wants us to do, how can we do those things if WE can handle everything? If we're trusting in our abilities, having faith in our abilities, seeking our abilities, leaning on our abilities, what exactly is God's purpose?

So, the next time someone tries to "comfort" you with that phrase, gently remind yourself (and perhaps them) that yes, God will put more on us than WE can bear because He wants to bear it for us but we must turn to Him.

What We Mourn

In roughly two weeks, my mom will have been gone six months. That's approximately 180 days or 24 weeks. HALF A YEAR. Is that even possible? By the looks of the calendar, yes, it's possible. On the one hand, that seems like a really long time. On the other, it feels like yesterday.

I'm okay. I've made my peace with it. I'm where I need to be right now. Does that mean I won't cry again? That's funny. Does that mean I no longer miss her? Shoot, there are things I don't even know to miss yet. Does that mean I'm done grieving? No. It just means that for me, right now, in THIS moment, the face of grief is changing.

I can only address the rest of this as a believer. In all honesty, I don't know how nonbelievers even cope with death. If I thought with each family member that their burial was truly the last time I would see them, I would definitely be crazy by now. So...here goes.

I think it's important to realize that true grief in all of it's ugliness (and it is ugly. Have you ever seen me cry? Whew!) is NOT indicative of a lack of faith. First of all, when Lazarus died, the Bible even states that Jesus wept. If He can cry...well, surely we can. As believers (assuming our loved one is as well) we know that we will see that loved one again when God calls us home. So, it really isn't goodbye, it's see you later.

Spiritually, we're set. We've got it. Our spirit is fine with the situation because our spirit knows. We're not mourning the spirit. We're rejoicing the spirit.

We're mourning a physical connection. A relationship. That doesn't turn off just because spiritually we're "okay." God built us to be in relationship. So once that relationship is broken, how could we NOT mourn? If He built us to be in relationship, how can we think He doesn't understand our mourning? Or worse yet that He would consider it a lack of faith. That just wouldn't even make sense.

Spiritually I mourn NOTHING. Matter of fact my spirit is jealous that her work is done while mine is not. That human connection is broken. Never to be repaired here! So yes, my flesh mourns. Frankly, I believe God is a okay with that. So, don't let anyone tell you mourning shows a lack of faith or unbelief...because even Jesus wept.

33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 “Where have you laid him?” he asked.

“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.

35 Jesus wept.

36 Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

Ah, now that's good stuff!