What We Mourn

In roughly two weeks, my mom will have been gone six months. That's approximately 180 days or 24 weeks. HALF A YEAR. Is that even possible? By the looks of the calendar, yes, it's possible. On the one hand, that seems like a really long time. On the other, it feels like yesterday.

I'm okay. I've made my peace with it. I'm where I need to be right now. Does that mean I won't cry again? That's funny. Does that mean I no longer miss her? Shoot, there are things I don't even know to miss yet. Does that mean I'm done grieving? No. It just means that for me, right now, in THIS moment, the face of grief is changing.

I can only address the rest of this as a believer. In all honesty, I don't know how nonbelievers even cope with death. If I thought with each family member that their burial was truly the last time I would see them, I would definitely be crazy by now. So...here goes.

I think it's important to realize that true grief in all of it's ugliness (and it is ugly. Have you ever seen me cry? Whew!) is NOT indicative of a lack of faith. First of all, when Lazarus died, the Bible even states that Jesus wept. If He can cry...well, surely we can. As believers (assuming our loved one is as well) we know that we will see that loved one again when God calls us home. So, it really isn't goodbye, it's see you later.

Spiritually, we're set. We've got it. Our spirit is fine with the situation because our spirit knows. We're not mourning the spirit. We're rejoicing the spirit.

We're mourning a physical connection. A relationship. That doesn't turn off just because spiritually we're "okay." God built us to be in relationship. So once that relationship is broken, how could we NOT mourn? If He built us to be in relationship, how can we think He doesn't understand our mourning? Or worse yet that He would consider it a lack of faith. That just wouldn't even make sense.

Spiritually I mourn NOTHING. Matter of fact my spirit is jealous that her work is done while mine is not. That human connection is broken. Never to be repaired here! So yes, my flesh mourns. Frankly, I believe God is a okay with that. So, don't let anyone tell you mourning shows a lack of faith or unbelief...because even Jesus wept.

33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 “Where have you laid him?” he asked.

“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.

35 Jesus wept.

36 Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

Ah, now that's good stuff!