True Love

No matter what the relationship, true love involves sacrifice. Sometimes a lot of sacrifice. True love is not a warm, fuzzy feeling. True love involves work.

You "fall" in love and get married. Your new husband's job requires a move four states away. Your family lives here. You don't send him alone. You sacrifice to be with him. You want to finish school but you can't work and do school. So your husband takes on another job despite his weariness. He sacrifices rest to help you finish school. Through financial issues, moving, children, in-laws, etc. you sacrifice things to make your marriage work. You sacrifice because you love.

You have children. You sacrifice sleep to rock them and feed them. You sacrifice things you want so they have what they need. You maybe even sacrifice jobs or friendships to make them a priority. Sometimes as parents we sacrifice the last piece of dessert - because they want it. Daily hygiene - because by the time we have time we've forgotten we needed to brush our teeth. Sometimes we feel like we're sacrificing our sanity. But it's worth it. We love these little people. So much so that we'll do almost anything to take care of them.

Caring for a dying family member whom you love requires sacrifice. However, it's not a singular sacrifice. My nephew was my helper, my go to, my confidant in arms as we cared for my mom. But it wasn't just our sacrifice. Our families took on that sacrifice as well. We drug along spouses and children into the fray. They gave up time with us. They sacrificed normal days and normal nights. They took care of children alone. They shared in shuttling her to appointments. They bore are anger, pain, and grief.

Sacrificing sometimes comes easily. Sometimes not so much. I was a reluctant caregiver. It wasn't a role I wanted. Not because I didn't love her. It was because facing that sucked. I wasn't a perfect caregiver but I was adequate. I was enough. She told me so. 😊

There were times I was angry, impatient, and less than. I loved her anyways. She loved me. I saw her at her worst; her weakest; her sickest. Although I fell short I'm sure, at her worst, she felt like she was seeing me at my best. When you watch a parent lose their hair, it's painful. When you watch a parent lose some of their dignity, it's painful. When you watch a parent be called home, painful no longer becomes an adequate word to use.

But I'm grateful! Grateful I was there. Grateful that I sacrificed my time. Grateful that I had that time. Grateful that we got to laugh and be silly through the pain. Grateful that I was sitting at her bedside, holding her hand as she was called home. True love requires sacrifice. Sacrifice isn't always easy. In the long run, it's always worth it.