This will just be "one" lesson but I feel like this one needs its own post.
Lesson twelve - use it or lose it. No, I'm not talking about your brain, your body, or anything like that. This is about your "stuff." Maybe it was the way previous generations grew up. Maybe it was never feeling like they had enough. Maybe they passed that mentality on. There's NOTHING, I repeat NOTHING, wrong with being thrifty. I love a good deal, a great bargain, etc. However, if you have it, use it.
My mom had tons of stuff that she'd bought, been given, that she never used. I found clothes and shoes with the price tags still on them. She didn't "have any place to wear them." I just don't understand. If you wanted them that badly, why not use them.
My mom had a beautiful set of China that I didn't even know she had until I was cleaning out the trailer. Clearly, if I had no knowledge of it being here, it's never been used in my 43 years of existence. That's a shame. I'm sure she was waiting for just the right event.
Five Christmases ago (the Christmas after her first cancer diagnosis) we were shopping and she saw this bright red cape with a leopard print collar. She wanted it so badly but was shopping for other people. So I went back and got it for her. The only time she EVER put it on was that Christmas day for a picture.
She also had a small (and I do mean SMALL) bottle of Elizabeth Arden Red Door. It's still in the box. Never used. She had nowhere to wear it.
Stuff is stuff. In the grand scheme of things it's not that important. As I look around at my mom's stuff that she never used because the time or circumstance wasn't right, well, it hurts my feelings. She has other stuff that she used all of the time that I cherish.
That perfume... well, it sits in my bathroom. It's not my "taste" but I can't bear to part with it.
That china... well, it's getting used at Thanksgiving, probably Christmas, and very likely spaghetti night. It might get chipped, broken, or stained but I'm using it. I will think of her every time.
That cape... well it's hanging by the door. I will wear it all winter. Next winter too. As a matter of fact, I will wear it until it falls apart. Why? Because in my mind's eye, I can see the smile on her face the Christmas morning she put it on.
Sure, it's silly, slightly strange, and maybe even a bit weird but when I use those things that she couldn't/wouldn't, I feel like I'm honoring her in some small way.
I hope my family sees memories in my stuff. Well-used, smile making memories. I hope they want to use it too. I hope there's nothing that I "wanted", that I actually own, that I never used that makes them sad.
You don't have to have everything to make you happy. Stuff in its most basic form truly is not that important. However, don't wait for the right time, place, or circumstance. The right time to enjoy that china is tonight when you're eating meatloaf and mashed potatoes. The right time to wear that perfume is tomorrow when you go to work. The right time to wear "that" outfit, coat, shoes is this afternoon to the grocery store. Because frankly, if you wait long enough, there will be no time left.
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