Time Marches On

Yesterday marked eight months that mom's been gone. Sometimes it seems like yesterday. Sometimes it seems like it's been years. Sometimes it hurts like nothing I've ever felt. Sometimes I feel nothing at all.

I think we expect grief to be large and looming. An event that will overtake us and consume us if we aren't careful. I think we feel that way because the "beginning" of grief is so raw. We don't know how to act or feel when grief comes. So it becomes something that we're afraid of dealing with. Grief scares the person grieving and it scares those around them.

It shouldn't. At some point in our lives, we will all grieve something huge. A spouse, a parent, a child, etc. However, if we pay attention, life gives us the opportunity to learn how to grieve before the "big one" comes. Perhaps we moved away from friends, lost a pet, lost a job, maybe divorced. They all require grieving on a different scale.

While I absolutely ABHOR the term "new normal" after a death, it really is mostly true. Your life will again reach normalcy. It'll just always be different. We don't want to accept it but we have to accept reality for what it is.

I've learned that when the feelings come, when the emotions wash over me, the easiest way to move on is to acknowledge the fact they're there. Grief is never-ending, always changing, and life-altering. With the right mindset and the desire to continue down the road God desires us to walk, grief does not have to be debilitating. It just has to be acknowledged.